there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
