Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
