I must be too annoying 4 u.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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