i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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