In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
