If i come over, it means nothing
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
