My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
