I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
