One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
