Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
