fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
