is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
