tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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