What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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