The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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