She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
