There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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