I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he shaved USA in his pubs
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my farts smell like vagina
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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