Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
