Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???