She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
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My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night