I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
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what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
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I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum