Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...