it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?