I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
