i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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