It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My ass is underappreciated
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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