You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
