I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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