I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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