Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize