I think im going to throw up on grandma
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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