Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
