i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
