I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize