He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
