Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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