I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
