Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
