i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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