If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
