First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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