4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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