she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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