pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
