I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize