would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
