he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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