____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I look better un-naked...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
