This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
