he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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