Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you made out with another girl for some wings
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
