Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
