we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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