and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
