Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
