I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
