is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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