it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
