he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
